I have started a phone chat website

If you want to talk about ANYTHING at all, come see me

Found out I'm HOT in a small rural town!

If I lived in California, at my age, I would not even be looked at twice! However, here in the rolling hills of the cattle country I live in, I am a hot commodity! Men hit on me all the time. Granted, they are usually wearing overalls with no shirt, and a ballcap, but they are flirting with me nevertheless! I have only lived here 4 months, but have already had two proposals, and two requests to cohabitate. It is so crazy.

All the Bubba boys aside, I really love living here. People are polite and considerate, the land is breathtaking, and it is easy to make friends. This is were I will spend the rest of my life. I will die on this land, and it has become a part of me. Now, if I can just learn how to drive my Dad's tractor and make overalls look fashionable, I AM SET!!!

Spank me! Please

I have always wanted to have a good spanking. Not a man I have ever been with will do this for me. They might give me a swat or two. They will have promised to make my ass cherry red, but when it comes down to it, I am left wanting and frustrated. MEN! If your woman asks for a spanking in the first place, she needs it, she wants it, dont pat her!!! Smack that ass until tears are streaming down her face.

Destined to Be Second Fiddle

Once again, a man made a promise to me, and once again, he failed to keep that promise. He put another before me. I am just about ready to die. I am so lonely. I am an attractive, fun, educated woman. I have so much love, devotion, attention, and affection to give someone. Problem is, the men that want me, I dont want. The men that I DO want, dont want me.  I have been a doormat. I need to have some pride. It is better to be alone and lonely, than allow a man to string me along and keep me on the side as a back up plan. It hurts so damn bad.

Inseminating Lesbians

Today at work, I helped the doctor I work for artificially inseminate two lesbians. (Well only one of them was gonna try to get pregnant). Some of the other ladies at work were aghast, and I was even told I would go to hell if I assisted my doctor with the procedure. However, I on the other hand, do not believe that. It says nothing in the bible about women not loving eachother or building a family. In fact, it says nothing about artificial insemination at all. Besides, if God does not want them to have a baby, they WILL NOT HAVE A BABY!  They were actually a lovely couple. Both in their late twenties, both very beautiful with long dark hair, and fair skin. They were so concerned about eachother's feelings, and I was honored to be in the room with them during their special moment.

Aging Gracefully? NOT ME!

I am sitting here on my couch almost unable to move. In my quest to remain a woman considered attractive by at least some people, I have embarked on a physical fitness journey over the past six months. I have recently started pumping iron in an attempt to keep my curves and ward off osteoporosis. While it feels great, and gives wonderful results, tonight I just want to sit on the couch and revel in the soreness of my muscles. I am still alive, I am still vital. However, I am still alone.

I have 28 unread text messages on my phone. From 13 different people. I dont have to be alone. Why is it that my life always turns out this way? When I want someone or something, they just aren't meant for me. I guess I could pass time with some of the people that seem to want to be around me, but I just can't do it. I will not settle. I will find what I am looking for one way or another. Or it will find me.

On Being Alone

Since my marriage fell apart, I spend a lot of time by myself. Today is especially hard. My children are with their father, I woke up alone. I was depressed as I made my eggs and toast. I didnt even get mad when the cat jumped up on the table and swiped a piece of my toast. I let him have it. It doesn't matter anyway. I have no one to talk to. Correction, there is no one available to talk to me that I WANT to talk to. The one person I want to talk to is not available to me. When I am scared, hurting, or sad, I sometimes have someone to talk to. Sometimes I dont. But alas, this is the life I have chosen.

It is a gorgeous day, the sun is shining, birds are singing, and there are buds on all the trees on this gorgeous piece of land that I call home. It should be bringing me intense joy, but without someone to share it with, it just seems flat. I have started this blog to try and come to terms with myself and my life.