Inseminating Lesbians

Today at work, I helped the doctor I work for artificially inseminate two lesbians. (Well only one of them was gonna try to get pregnant). Some of the other ladies at work were aghast, and I was even told I would go to hell if I assisted my doctor with the procedure. However, I on the other hand, do not believe that. It says nothing in the bible about women not loving eachother or building a family. In fact, it says nothing about artificial insemination at all. Besides, if God does not want them to have a baby, they WILL NOT HAVE A BABY!  They were actually a lovely couple. Both in their late twenties, both very beautiful with long dark hair, and fair skin. They were so concerned about eachother's feelings, and I was honored to be in the room with them during their special moment.

Aging Gracefully? NOT ME!

I am sitting here on my couch almost unable to move. In my quest to remain a woman considered attractive by at least some people, I have embarked on a physical fitness journey over the past six months. I have recently started pumping iron in an attempt to keep my curves and ward off osteoporosis. While it feels great, and gives wonderful results, tonight I just want to sit on the couch and revel in the soreness of my muscles. I am still alive, I am still vital. However, I am still alone.

I have 28 unread text messages on my phone. From 13 different people. I dont have to be alone. Why is it that my life always turns out this way? When I want someone or something, they just aren't meant for me. I guess I could pass time with some of the people that seem to want to be around me, but I just can't do it. I will not settle. I will find what I am looking for one way or another. Or it will find me.

On Being Alone

Since my marriage fell apart, I spend a lot of time by myself. Today is especially hard. My children are with their father, I woke up alone. I was depressed as I made my eggs and toast. I didnt even get mad when the cat jumped up on the table and swiped a piece of my toast. I let him have it. It doesn't matter anyway. I have no one to talk to. Correction, there is no one available to talk to me that I WANT to talk to. The one person I want to talk to is not available to me. When I am scared, hurting, or sad, I sometimes have someone to talk to. Sometimes I dont. But alas, this is the life I have chosen.

It is a gorgeous day, the sun is shining, birds are singing, and there are buds on all the trees on this gorgeous piece of land that I call home. It should be bringing me intense joy, but without someone to share it with, it just seems flat. I have started this blog to try and come to terms with myself and my life.